People always say that junior year of high school is the hardest year. However, that wasn’t the case for me; sophomore year was the hardest. I struggled with my classes because I didn’t understand what I was being taught. I was always told I was gifted growing up. If I’m gifted, why can’t I be what they say I am? I picked hard classes in an attempt to look smart. I bit off more than I could chew for the sake of being what others expected of me. College didn’t seem interesting to me and going to art school sounded too competitive. I was always told I was good enough for a big career, but I didn’t feel that way. I knew there was something I wanted, but it was always drowned out by others’ opinions. I became anxious; so anxious that I ended up listening to myself for once. When class selection came around, I decided to pick what I knew I could handle. I didn’t pick that math class. I didn’t pick that AP class. No, I chose what I knew I could take on to the fullest. I chose me.

Choosing myself was the best thing I could’ve ever done. I set goals at the start of junior year. “Maintain high grades,” and, “make new friends,” and, “complete assignments on time.” I reached them all with room for more. “Write that chapter,” and, “sketch that drawing,” and, “practice your instrument.” It wasn’t that I was never good enough, I just never chose myself. Will I continue to live up to someone else’s expectations, or will I believe in myself and live up to my own? I knew myself better than anyone but I was afraid to admit that. In school we’d take career tests and I’d never get engineer or doctor, but author would always be in my results. We never did anything about our results besides write them down. I’d always been what other people made me, so it was time I made myself. Author. It always called me. I took that call and I’m still on the line.

With newfound confidence, I put in an application to Beacon of Hope’s internship program. From taking that leap, I interned with the Lynchburg Regional Business Alliance. Here at the Business Alliance, I’ve been given the chance to show who I am and share my story like I am now. Guest speakers and employers I’ve met here have all said the same things: “I never thought I’d be at this job,” and, “Nobody has it all figured out right away.” Every time, it resonated with me. Before, I couldn’t be certain with myself, but I can now. I know what it takes to move forward: choosing myself. And I won’t go back.